Tips on making long distance relationships work - Current Gist

Friday, June 22, 2018

Tips on making long distance relationships work


Many people believe that long distance relationships are never going to work. Your friends and family members may have advised not to take it seriously, in case you get your heart broke .
Here are some tips on how to manage long distance relationships.

Start gently, especially if you haven't met

Don’t bare all too soon! When you meet long distance it can be easy to jump in the deep end and move too fast in your new relationship. During the early days (the first couple of months, at least) don’t rush into exposing yourself, set a pattern of talking for hours every day, or make serious commitments.

Meet in person as soon as possible
There are all sorts of things you can only learn about someone face to face, but the initial reason why it’s a good idea to meet in person as soon as possible is simple: You may have great chemistry on paper or over the phone, and absolutely none in person

Set up healthy communication arrangements early in your long distance relationship

When you’re trying to figure out how to make a long distance relationship work, talk about how you talk. Discuss some of your communication basics as partners–how you generally prefer to connect (phone, text, whasup, Facebook), what times, and for how long. This can help set realistic expectations and avoid some miscommunications, frustration, and anxiety.

Prioritize speaking with each other

It can take real effort to rearrange schedules and make time to talk, especially when things get busy or there is a time difference involved. However, if you can’t consistently make talking with your partner a priority, reconsider whether you should be in the relationship.
Provide each other some virtual space

Don’t rush to reply immediately to every text, email, or message that comes in. And don’t expect your partner to respond straight away to every text you send or message you leave.
Also don’t start monitoring movement of your partner; this creates some sense of insecurity and suspicion 

Be open, honest, and “real” in your communication

When you’re in a long distance relationship it’s easier to hide your weaknesses and put your best foot forward. Unless you both value transparency and honesty more than making a good impression, you will have a much more difficult time figuring out whether you and your partner are a good fit for each other.
Find new things to talk about

Most partners in a long distance relationship will go through periods where they struggle to find things to talk about apart from how their day was. When these period sets in, put a bit more effort into finding new and fresh things to discuss. You can tell each other stories of books you read or movies watched intermittently during discussions, by so doing; new things to talk will spring up
Read, listen to, or watch the same things

It’s easier to figure out how to make a long distance relationship work if you share some common interests. So recommend books, articles, podcasts, music, movies, news items, etc to each other. If you can read or listen to some of the same things, that will help you share experiences and give you new things to talk about

Learn to recognize and control your own emotions

Long distance relationships often come with intense emotions and extreme ups and downs. There are times of intense loneliness, uncertainty, doubts, and fear. There are also times of extreme excitement, joy, and incandescent happiness. Learning to recognize, own, and manage your own emotions will pay off big time–now and in the future.

Learn to control any jealousy in your long distance relationship

Feeling a little jealous now and again is not unusual in a long distance relationship. However, uncontrolled jealousy can lead to a destructive combination of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame. If you’re feeling jealous, figure out how to control your jealousy before it starts to control you. It’s not easy, but it can be done.

Talk honestly about money

If finances are tight, money can become a major source of  anger–especially if finances are keeping you apart, traveling to see each other is expensive, and/or one partner has to spend a lot more money than the other to keep the relationship going. Discussing financial issues directly can help avoid assumptions and disagreement

Consider getting counseling

If you’re feeling stuck about whether or not your relationship has a future, having a good therapist will help you overcome this challenge. Counseling can also help you address and resolve issues related to jealousy, trust, insecurity, and some of the “blind spots” that can develop when you’re in a Long Distance Relationship.

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